Piece

It's been awhile since I have posted anything.  In all honesty, I forgot my log-in and password for my other blog, so I am just starting over.  The cool part, no one knows about it yet.  Why is that cool???  Because, for now, I just want somewhere to write random stuff that happens. 

I hate my ex-husband.  Howz that a way to start??  Have never actually put that out there before.  I always try to think the best of him, but can't do it any longer.  That's not even true; I hang on to the hope that he changes, that's more honest.  I fear my friends and family will eventually tire of my bitching about what a piece he has become.  The feelings of hatred and anger overwhelm me sometimes.  It's overwhelming because I feel like I have no where to put the feelings. Why all the anger?  I could list many things he has done to me, but that stuff is in the past.  The anger stems from the way he treats our kids...like they don't even exist.  Yeah, serious piece...

Tuesday of this week marked eight weeks since he has called the kids.  Hasn't seen them during that time either.  How can that be explained to a six and seven year old?  Not very easily, that's for sure.  Sadly, they no longer ask to call him; he fails to return their calls.  They have also stopped asking when they are going to see him again.

I worry about this long-term.  I worry about them feeling like his lack of involvement in their life is because they have done something wrong.  It keeps me awake at night.

Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful support system for them, and for me.   Loving family, great friends, recently signed them up for big brothers/big sisters...but wonder, will it be enough?

p.s.  Not all my posts will be this heavy...just feeling the need to put this stuff somewhere.