Was I supposed to keep blogging??

Happy New Year all.  I was afraid that I wouldn't even be able to remember how to log into my blog, but alas, it came back to me.  The last time I blogged (is that even the correct term?) was in July of 2011.  That's pretty bad.  Especially when it is something I enjoy.  I have all kinds of excuses, but none of them can explain six months of absence. 

In order to change that, I am making a resolution (and it's one I think I can keep).  I am going to blog once a week.  Good lord, even putting that in writing scares me.  Okay, maybe I should say that I am going to blog once every two weeks, or even once a month, just to give myself a safety net.  Nah, I can blog once a week.  There's enough that has happened in my life since July to keep me posting all year.  I even went on a couple of dates. 

I can't say I'm going to pick up where I left off.  Can't even remember the second summer adventure.  What I do remember was my third adventure, the big trip to New York.  That will definitely be a blog topic; heck maybe even more than one...

So stay tuned folks, more blogs to come. 

My Summer of New Adventures Part I

This has been one of the most adventurous summers of all time.  It has also been one of the fastest summer breaks on record.  I know it's not over, but dang, it's August already.  I will not start focusing on the return to school, I will not!!! 

There have been three major adventures this summer.  I guess two have been major, one was just fun!! 

The first adventure of the summer was our family trip to Grand Haven.  It was a week of the whole family living under one roof.  Add to that my cousin coming in with her two children for three days and what we had was chaos, loudness and a whole lot of fun!!!  The house where we stayed was big enough to accommodate all of us, four bedrooms, three full bathrooms, and one half bathroom.

We were lucky enough to be able to stay here during the week of the Fourth of July.  A small town that usually accommodates around 2,000 people had 200,000 visitors that week.  It was carazzyyy busy, from the downtown area, to the boardwalk, and especially the beach.  Picture a scene from one of those beach movies where there is not a space to be found and that was the beach on the fourth of July.  I am a long time people watcher and let me tell you, I had a grand time watching all of the different people.(and women/men who were wearing bathing suits they should not have stepped out of the house wearing) 

The best part of the week was the family time.  I was pretty nervous about all of us living in harmony for a week.  My sister has twin boys who just turned one and she is EXTREMELY protective of everything they do.  If the headed towards the steps, she freaked out.  If they crawled near the kitchen, she freaked out.  Let's just say, she freaked out a lot that week.  Despite her "freakiness", we bonded as a family. 

As a child, we used to vacation up north every summer with my grandmother, her "fella" George, my aunt and uncle and their six children, plus our family of five.  We all stayed in the same cottage for a week, some were large enough that we all slept comfortably, some were so small, there wasn't even enough floor space.  We played cards every night and fished daily.  So I have been waiting for our family to start this tradition with our own children.  It was well worth the wait.

One of my favorite parts of the week was the farmer's market.  There were many vendors selling fresh berries, granola made just that morning, chocolate covered blueberries(really yummy), and doughnuts(my kids loved them).  What attracted me the most was the flowers.  They had sunflowers that were gorgeous and hanging baskets for eight dollars that here in Jacktown would have cost at least thirty dollars.  I wanted to buy about five of them, but alas, there was no room in the car and I settled for one. 



By the end of the week, we had visited the beach five times(and all had a great tan, except my sister who got fried on the first day and is still peeling), had walked downtown everyday, visited the ice cream parlour, saw their version of Cascades(didn't measure up to ours at all), ate some totally awesome black bean cakes and some awful pickle flavored popcorn, and vowed that we would do this again next year!!  And let me tell you, I can't wait!!!

Like a tide in the ocean

Been in a bit of a funk the past couple of days.  I have been experiencing some feelings that are surprising me.  I have been missing Joe.  Yeah, I know.  Not the Joe at the end of our relationship, but the Joe from the "good years". 

I don't know exactly where the feelings came from.  I think it started while in New York this week.  I was sitting in a restaurant with my travel mates, listening to them talk about their husbands, and started remembering Joe.  They were talking about their hubbies, laughing and talking about things that happen in their every day lives.  I know that their relationships are not perfect and take a lot of work, but man, was I envious.  I don't feel that way very often, but I did that night.  Not jealous, just got me thinking.  (It probably didn't help that while we were there, his ex-girlfriend sent a message wanting to drop some of his stuff off to the kids when I got home.)  One thought led to another, and boom, there were the memories of Joe and they have been flashing in my brain ever since. 

Most often, when I think of him, I get angry.  It's easier that way, then I don't have to deal with my own sense of loss. My thoughts go immediately to the bad, the lack of contact with the kids and of course, his suicide.  But lately, I am able to think of him connected to positive memories. I kind of like it.  Maybe it means I am healing.

What I am not appreciating is the overwhelming, and I do mean overwhelming, feeling of sadness that is accompanying the memories.  It's almost swallowing me up whole.  I have been walking around on the verge of tears for days.  I keep waiting for it to get better, but it's just hanging around, like a bad cold. 

As much as I despised parts of him, there were other parts that were truly wonderful. (the way he interacted with the kids, how smart he really was, how thoughtful he could be, his willingness to help others). Remembering that side of him makes what he did so much more painful. 

A friend of mine compared the grief of his suicide to a tide in the ocean.  It will come in and wash over you, and then ebb for awhile, only to return.  I guess my tide is coming in....

Meat eater no more

Yup, it's true.  I am no longer a meat eater.  I made the choice a couple of months ago.  Honestly, I can't even remember when I gave it up.  I wish I could say that I made the change to save the animals (which is a side benefit), but I really did it because I don't like meat anymore.  I had been thinking about it for awhile, but wasn't sure I could follow through.  So I decided to study my eating habits and see how much meat I actually ate.  Turns out, it wasn't much.  Don't like chicken anymore, turkey either.  Especially don't like beef roast.  The meal that sealed the deal for me was a burger.  I had grilled burgers for the kids and I.  As we were sitting at the table, I took a bite and almost gagged.  The burger was done, there was no problem, but I just couldn't eat it.  I was done and haven't had any meat since then.  Only meat I miss so far is a hot dog and the veggie ones I have seen at the stores don't look so good.

I have to admit, I have been struggling with it a bit. (only because I don't have enough recipes and don't really like veggies)  But what I witnessed last week solidified my "non-meat" choice.  It was so disgusting, I may gag as I type this.  SERIOUSLY!!!!  My family and I were vacationing in Grand Haven. (It was wonderful)  They have a beautiful boardwalk that leads to the pier overlooking Lake Michigan.  As we were taking a walk to the pier, a couple of charter boats were docking.  The kids begged to see the fish that were caught.  There were some doosies.  Twenty-two pounders!! 

From there it got worse.  The fish were then taken down and moved to another area where their heads were cut off and they were filleted to the liking of the fishermen.  My kids were enthralled, I was almost puking. 

After that disgustingness(I know it's not a word, but if fits here), the remainder of the fish was tossed into this center bin and ground up.  You could hear the bones and other stuff being crushed as they were non-chalantly tossed aside.  It was so disgusting, at that precise moment, I knew I would definitely be a "meat eater no more".   



Feelin' hot, hot, hot

Bet you think I am going to talk about the weather here in Michigan or this totally hot guy I met.  NOPE.  The "hot" I am referring to are "hot flashes".  Yup, I think I am having hot flashes.  According to my mother, they are not full blown hot flashes, otherwise my shirt would be drenched and I would have to put on a new one.  I gotta tell ya, if they get much hotter, I may burst into flames!!

Let me describe the feeling to you and then you can see what you think.  I was folding clothes in my living room, dressed in a tank top and shorts with my air conditioning cranking.  My house was a cool seventy-two degrees.  As I was folding, I felt this heat taking over my body, from the inside out.  It starts from way inside and slowly burns its way out.  I felt like if you touched me, you would yank your hand away as if I burned you.  Even my eyeballs feel like they are red with heat, kind of like a new vampire in the "Twilight" series.  It started with just that one, but now I am up to about two or three a day.  Not liking the fact that I don't know when they are going to happen.

Know what else I don't like??  The fact that I am only 41 years old.  I am waaaaaay to young to be having hot flashes.  Does this mean I am going through menopause already??  Isn't it usually women over or around 50 who go through this??  What if I meet a man who sweeps me off my feet and wants to have one more child??  (hey, it could happen)  Hot flashes while pregnant...not a pretty picture.  Maybe I am getting ahead of myself here, maybe it's just a phase.  Maybe they are a result of my increased intensity in working out or because the humidity affects me differently as I age.  Maybe...oh, who am I kidding????  

Ummmmmmm........

Well, we can see how well that plan worked :)  It is now June and I posted for a whole 2 days!! 

I admit, I am a little disappointed in myself.  Was hoping that was the way back to healthy eating and continued exercise.  Gotta say though, I have been exercising on a regular basis, my team kicked butt on a work challenge.  My struggle continues to be the eating. 

I have made a change in my eating habits, I thought for the good (still do), but it's not working out the way I had planned.  I gave up meat.  Wish I could say I did it to save the animals, but honestly, I did it because I don't like meat anymore. (you thought I was going to say it was to lose weight)  I was hoping to see some pound droppage as a result, but what I have discovered is I am supplementing my lack of meat with chips, cookies, and candy (sour patch kids).  Not good!! 

But alas, summer is here!!  I ALWAYS do better in the summer months.  I exercise almost daily and enjoy it a lot more because I can work out in the morning.  I eat better because there is a better choice of fresh fruits and when it's hot out, I don't eat as much.  I expect to see some change for the better this summer. 

If not...ummmmm.....

Day two...a little better...but not much

Here we are at day two of this plan of mine.  I have decided I am not going to post my weight, but I will do a daily record of up or down and by how much.  This morning my weight went down by .2.  Yesterday's eating was better, but not much.  Here it is:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with milk

Snack: Banana

Lunch: none...but I snacked again on M&M's and Mini Teddy Grahams and I think there might have even been some Nutter Butter mini's in there too. 

Dinner: one slice cheese pizza and two breadsticks.

As I said, not much better than the day before, BUT I did exercise yesterday.  I rode my bike for 30 minutes and upped my distance by one/tenth of a mile and also worked in the yard for about an hour.  Moved some mulch from one area of my yard to another.  I was sweating!!! 

Still raiding the cupboard.  Still trying to figure out why.  I think it's part habit, part boredom, and part this computer is housed right by the snack cupboard.  Wonder what would happen if I moved the computer away from the cupboard.  Gonna give it a try, see if it helps.  Ha!!!